Susses dating sites
You reason that it’s pretty obvious that you’re crazy about them, so surely they wouldn’t be stringing you along?You’re also in the Justifying Zone, that slippery slope many people go to where they look for reasons to justify their initial emotional and sexual investment instead of saying “I’m out.” Trust me when I say, you can have sex with someone and it not mean that you’re destined to be together forever and ever. They pull themselves onto their side and look at you.I’d avoid ‘negotiating’ with sex because there are some people that would sell their mama or at least sell you a big dream and a fake persona to get you into bed.If you’re the type of person that values your sexual interactions and struggles with the discovery phase and sleeping together, slow yourself down and don’t have sex until you can manage the two.To be fair though, I receive thousands of emails each year from readers who are told all manner of variations of “I don’t want a relationship” or “I’m unavailable” or “I’m not interested/a jackass”…and they ignore it. Because they focus on the action and think “Well we’re having sex, they still text me, and we have so much fun together so obviously they do want a relationship.” No they don’t – actions and words must match. So many people ask me “Why are they still having sex with me then?
They may overvalue what they bring to the table and assume that because they’re having a good time, that you’ll be just oh so grateful to have them break you off a piece.Picture this (adopts Sophia from Golden Girls voice): You’re attracted to someone.You think they’re funny, clever, witty, they embody all of the physical qualities that you like, and seem to share a few of your common interests and possess a similar outlook.“I’m having a really good time you know, but let’s not ruin things. “Well…I just don’t want you to get all serious on me, because being honest with you, I’m not really looking for a relationship right now… ” Er, well no it’s not OK but what the hell are you supposed to say when you’re lying there naked in a room that reeks of sex?Let’s just go with the flow.” You suddenly feel exposed and vulnerable. As I type these words, more than a few people out there are having sex with someone who they have more than a casual interest in, who is not interested in a relationship or isn’t even that interested in them.