Dating a divorced male
They’d been together for 10 years, married for two. James and I have our ups and our downs in what could be called “still the honeymoon phase.” And many of them, frankly, have to do with how he used to be married to someone else. There’s some immediate satisfaction of knowing, of course. I’m sorry to say it, but this one’s a real lose/lose. The recently divorced man is, with little exception, the recently traumatized man.They’d met young, in their early 20s, and had decided, two months before James and I met, to divorce. James had been the one to request the divorce; his wife had been devastated by his decision. There’s not a week that goes by that I don’t think either A) I’m thrilled he’s got that experience under his belt, or B) Why god, did I have to fall in love with a guy with an ex-wife? But beyond that, it’s just a device with which to torture yourself. If he dumped her, you think, “What’s to stop him from dumping me? You’re destined to wonder – however briefly – how much of him is still in love with her. And if you’re the one who winds up with him, it will fall upon you to help him cope. A man with a now-defunct marriage under his belt has learned a few things about himself, about what he has to work on, about what he can and cannot handle.I do believe that whole routine would be more fun that than which I’ve described above. He knows to say, “I’m not sure it does your figure justice,” in lieu of, “Eww! And seeing as how teaching a man these lessons is akin to herding stray cats, this is a valuable attribute to luck into. I’ll take him, and I’ll work to be patient when his ex-wife makes her weekly call.
But what can you do to balance your heart with your head?Most experts agree that a recent divorce is one that happened within the last year or two.Divorces, like men, come in all shapes, sizes, and situations.For example, if a fulfilling relationship, to you, means that your partner is both attentive and present with you when you’re on a date.But if you find when you’re actually on a date, your partner is clearly preoccupied with his recent divorce, then he might not be emotionally available right now.